you are someone else.

i am still right here.

When i grow up (more)

i’d like to be belladonna. too adorable.

and a hhhhuuuwherrr.

when I grow up…

… I wanna be the CoCo to your Ice T.

compass.

whaddado?!

ive basically been running myself ragged but to compensate i’ve been lying low and recharging my batteries for the last few days.

i spent a few days in a field.

then i ran off to spain for a week with my friends: kris, matt, swansea, danielle & duncan. we stayed at kris’ family home which was so nice! and he has 7 pooches so i was in my element. he has the most adorable bulldog called pearl. ridiculously cute. i like to think shes my kindred spirit. white and festively plump. lulllllllzzzz.

we crammed quite alot into a week

• good drives with pop punk!
• paella for the first time. om yom.
• sangria for the first time. that shit is like mothers milk to me.
• SWIMMING POOLS OF GIN, this whole ‘5 second pour’ alcohol measures absolutely SLAYED ME.
• doom cake, duncan was on top form.
• go karting at 10pm, slightly tipsy. trying to find a helmet to fit my big head/weave. hahaha.
• partying til the morning.
• more partying,
• boogie bar, oh deyah.
• funfair!
• being sad over the tigers,
• beach! so so pretty!
• pedallo in the sea!
• kerniffle.
• disney movie timez.
• hackamaniaaaaa.
• pool times with da croc.

the weather was absolutely gorgeous. the house was by all these mountains and you could see the stars every night. so nice.

LOOK HOW MUCH GIN!!! mine has tonic in it, kris’ doesnt. look how much they put in!!!!!!! good gawd.

theres more photos but i cant be bothered to upload them. lulz.

last week i was catching up with work and sleep and ting. last weekend was nice. my mate snoop moggg came over and we chilled in, did nails and hair and watched an insane amount of sex and the city. we went to chi-town with my friend abby and got the cutest pictures done! eeeeee! i need to scan them in. i know, the suspense is gon kill you.

she made me a killer gaga hair bow in under 10 minutes! i tried for about an hour once and FAILLLLLLED.

im gonna try and make an even bigger one now! i really am sick of my hair. really boring. ideas?

i went and got my ghetto nails did recently. was feeling really blue and went to the salon. ended up having a really nice time and met a girl who was a journalist for the independent. hahhaa. getting her nailzz did. we bonded over both wearing really similar floral dresses. cheered me up a right treat.

thats how i got them. however, this is how i WANT THEM:

okai, maybe not that mental but you get me doe. theres an amazing nail bar in chi town but their english is so bad/my chinese is so non-existant i cant communicate to them what i want alas.

staying in is definately the new going out. i dont feel like im missing out on much. i dont want to see dickheadz or mean people. and i want to save my money.

going to see my fam this weekend for more laying low. cant wait. ive missed them so much! and the last time they saw me i’d only lost a stone so theyre in for a shock! hahaha.

anyways, im out. SHALOM BITCHEZ. xo

so. what i have been up to:

went to see my sistaw and my brother in law last weekend. was lovely. she gave me the best advise, st tropez, manicure… everything a girl could ask for. i love her. but she did i get taller than her?! i love that pic of us when we were little. we be flossin wit our stylin.

saw my ollirobo which was long overdue. seems like an age away now! wine and olives. good shit. didnt do bambilegz this time! was so good to catch up and chill out. <3

made new friends which is cool. mates of scotty boys me and swan have so much fun and theyre gents!

things with my ex have gone from good to amazing to bad to worse. im done with it now. youre probably reading this. im tired of you lying. im tired of you lying to ME. i feel like a fool, an idiot. but YOU are both of those things. Ive done nothing wrong other than give you a second chance and youve done EXACTLY the same thing again. how stupid of me to believe what you told me. “holding out for the day you decide to come home” YEAH RIGHT.

actually, not a second chance, a BAZILLIONTH chance. good luck. heaven help the next girl.

no no NOTORIOUS

saw notorious and i absolutely loved it. i loved the girl who played lil kim. altho i realise its heavily biased, fuck it, its a good film. EPIC soundtrack. i wish it was the 90’s again. hahah. SHALOM BITCHEEEZZZ.

AN ITS STILL ALL GOOD

AN IFYA DUN KNOW KNOW YA KNOWWWWW.

i love this dude.

“there is a feeling like the clenching of a fist,

there is a hunger in the centre of the chest.

there is a passage through the darkness and the mist

and though the body sleeps the heart will never rest.”

DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.

bite me.

Recently i went to a show at The Old Queens Head in Angel.

Really nice pub with a beautiful back garden, done up well!

Saw this solo act called Tristram who blew me away, anything with a cellist will get me! The second act, My Sad Captains were good too. Didnt think much of the headlining act. boo to you.

Anyways, had a lovely night. Would definately go back to that venue again. Perhaps for my birthday. Which I seem to be planning MONTHS in advance. haha!

im sad cos you cant see the full glory of my wolf tee shirt. look at his peeking eye, always peeking…..

Tristram

My Sad Captains

BOOOOOOO.

Perhaps pretty harsh. Maybe the gin had got to me. i was heckling in my head. always the best way.

This weekend my momma was meant to come to london but shes sick so im bringing london to her. Im gonna pamper her, do her hair, do her nails and basically love her up. feel really shit that shes ill. Shes normally the one I wail too when im sick, so now she is I want to return the favour, the endless years of looking after me when i was off school sick, with marmite toast, tea and cuddles.

Last night I watched The Reader. Really moving, beautifully shot and had me transfixed from beginning to end. I really applaud Winslets acting style. You can love her and hate her in the same breath, and shes not afraid to get her tah-tahs & merkin out.

Also, on a completely different note, I’d quite like these super psyche candyfloss UGGs to patrol my house in, dancing around like im in a para para paradise troupe.

unconditional love /tupac

my mother is the cutie on the far right in my grandads arms.

how adorable? 

i wish they still took pictures like this.

heavyheart

feel really down. really down. need to snap out of it. im sad but i want to gut people. not a good combination.

im ecstatic with my weight loss. should focus on that really.

here, have some photos of when i worked at the studio and decided i wanted to pack everything in and live there. 

surviving off art, coffee, gin, and a box of marlborough lights.

that last one is a crap photo from the vice magazine party. note to vice: 3 free drinks doth not equal ‘free bar’. 

http://photos.viceland.com/albums/198

theres the link to the night. went with ben which was nice. he gave me his plus one. i just felt we were too young and i was expecting something alot more debaucherous and ‘out there’ for something from vice magazine.

im going to go home, carry on sorting out my room and cry alot i think.

yeah.